BLOG UPDATE: Posts will be on hold for the rest of the year

Hi everyone!

Thanks for spending time here at The Daily T.Lo. I had a lot of fun sharing posts with you daily, and it was fun exploring the topic of love, sex, and relationships. However, I regret to say that I am putting this endeavor on hold for the time being.

As an independent creator, I don't have a lot of time or resources to create content, so I have to be careful where I put my energy. For the next few months, I'd like to try my hand at making more videos and a podcast, so I'll still be online just not on this blog!

I'm going to put my content mostly on social media, so if you're not following me already, here is where you can reach me:

www.instagram.com/teresalowriter
www.facebook.com/teresalowriter
www.twitter.com/teresalo_tweets

Thanks again for all your support and see you around!

XOXO
T.Lo

Tuesdays with T.Lo Update

Hi everyone!

I wanted to thank you all for watching season one of Tuesdays with T.Lo! It was a fun project to collaborate with Marva Whitaker, Michael J. Martinez, Rebecca Lo, and Danny Zuker; and I'm excited to keep making videos. 

For the next season, I'm going to try out a new format, possibly a live one, so stay tuned! I'll provide more updates here on this blog as well as on Facebook

Thanks again!

T.Lo 

Italian Man Who Bed Thousands of Women Dies During Sex


Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have bed 20,000 women. Charlie Sheen is rumored to have boned 5,000 women, Warren Beatty 13,000. While it seems crazy to think someone even knows thousands of people, there are some men who will go down in history as being playboys, and in late September, Italy lost a legend, according to the New York Post.

Maurizio Zanfanti, 63, died while having sex with a woman 40 years younger than him. It was rumored that he had bedded 6,000 women after he became a nightclub promoter in Rimini, Italy. He was dubbed the Romeo of Rimini, and he used his charms to lure people to come out and party.

The Italian womanizer suffered a heart attack in the backseat of a car while getting busy with a 23-year-old Romanian tourist. Locals who seemed to admire this Lothario said that he was "Italy's most successful lover" and he died the way he would've wanted to.

Over 1 in 50 People Have HPV in Their Throats

Most people know by now that the human papillomavirus (HPV) can cause cervical cancer. But HPV can linger in people's throats, causing throat cancer in women and men.

In England, more than 1 in 50 people are carrying HPV in their throats, according to a study published in the British Medical Journal Open. The study stated that oral sex and smoking were the leading transmitters of the virus.

“Many people associate the HPV virus with cervical cancer but there is less recognition of the fact that HPV causes oropharyngeal cancer, and unfortunately the prevalence of this cancer has increased dramatically in the past few years," Dr. Craig Murdoch said in The Independent. 

Researchers from the University of Sheffeld tested 700 British men and women for HPV and asked them lifestyle questions that ranged from their sexual history to smoking habits. The study was led by Dr. Vanessa Hearnden, who she said that she supports programs that vaccinate boys for HPV. 

Currently, countries such as the US encourage girls to get HPV vaccinations, but they do not emphasize prevention for males. 

People Who Plan Ahead Have Awesome Sex


Buying organizers at The Container Store may be a thrill for me, as well as staying on schedule and budgeting. But being mindful is not necessarily what I'd consider a sexy trait, but a German research group argues that people who plan ahead are way better lovers than those who are easy going.

This year, psychologists from the Ruhr University Bochum published a study in the Journal of Sex Research, and it said that conscientious people were more likely to be sexually satisfied than their less-disciplined counterparts. 

The psychologists surveyed almost 1,000 couples, most of whom were straight, and they asked them about their personality traits and the quality of their sex lives. 

Women who were conscientious said they were the most sexually satisfied, and men who were dutiful were reported as excellent lovers who aimed to please. 

The study suggested that planning romance and intimacy helped couples stay strong and fulfilled, and mindful couples tended to have longer relationships than people who were carefree.

“High conscientiousness can be especially beneficial when it comes to putting effort into a satisfying sexual life,” author Julia Velten tells Quartz, “or to postpone one’s own needs and interests to focus on resolving a sexual problem within the context of committed, long-term relationships.”

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How To Tell If You're Dating a Racist


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 8) Unless you’re Richard Spencer or Ann Coulter, you probably don’t want to date a racist. But how can you spot a racist online before you go on that first date? T.Lo breaks down what to look for in a dating profile, shares her thoughts on interracial dating, and describes the differences between having a type and a race fetish.

Can Yoga Improve Your Sex Life?

Back when I was living in Kansas, I heard about the healing powers of yoga, and although I didn't have access to any classes, I bought tapes from Sams Club and tried to do moves that were printed in magazines.

Now that I live in Los Angeles, I'm a happy yogi, taking classes at least 2-3 times a week, and doing yoga makes me feel calm and keeps me limber. Years prior, I had been rear-ended on the highway twice, which severely fucked up my back, and yoga was one of the tools in my pocket that I used to ease my pain and strengthen my spine.

But what else can yoga do? Ana Sandolu argued on Medical News Today that it can actually help your sex life. She said that yoga improves sexual function in women and men, helps the body with sexual function, and releases bad energy.

To back up her claims, Sandolu used prior medical studies, but she noted that there was a "large discrepancy between the amount of so-called empirical, or experimental, evidence, and that of non-empirical, or anecdotal, evidence."

"While we need more scientific evidence to support yoga's benefits for our sex lives, the seeds are definitely there. Until future research can ascertain whether "yogasms" are a real, achievable thing, we think that there's enough reason to incorporate yoga in our daily routines," Sandolu wrote. "Trying it out for ourselves could prove tremendously enriching — and our pelvic muscles will definitely thank us for it."

If you search the internet, you'll probably find numerous yoga blogs touting anecdotal stories of how yoga helps with sex. And while the medical research may be slim, yoga is still worth trying for anyone who wants to spice up their moves in the bedroom. I mean, if anything, you'll be flexible and stronger, and that's definitely sexy. 

Your Job Influences Who You'll Marry


Every time I meet a new person, one of the standard get-to-know-you-questions is, "What do you do?" Not only does this question define what you do with the majority of your time, but it also signifies your social status, your education level, your income, and apparently...your spouse.

Bloomberg Business conducted research that was published in 2016 about who people married, and using data from the US Census Bureau, they discovered what many of us already suspected--people in certain industries marry within that industry. This could be because of who they are in proximity to and who they have the most in common with.

For instance, chefs, male and female, tend to marry other restaurant professionals or maids. Salespeople tend to marry other salespeople. Doctors marry fellow doctors or nurses. Judges marry lawyers. And so on and so on.

What's interesting too is that some jobs such as farmers marry other farmers but also teachers. Male flight attendants, male CEOs, male cops, and male financial analysts also tend to go for teachers. While the data did not state why these men fell for teachers, teachers tend to have nurturing and intellectual personalities that are extremely attractive to people of all ages. Plus, everyone has had a teacher at some point in their life, which means that there is a commonality for any other profession to be able to connect with an educator.

So if you happen to be single and you're surfing for potential partners online, you may have better luck if you narrow down your search to someone in your field of work. While some people claim to hate dating someone with the same job, it may actually lead to marriage in the long run.

Many Young People Aren't Aware They Can Withdraw Consent Once Naked


Let's say you're fooling around with your date, and you get naked. But then your date tells you something that is offputting, and you decide to not have sex. The date gets mad and insists you owe it to them. What would you do?

Let's say you're drunk and start fooling around with someone, but halfway through, you don't want to have sex anymore. What would you do?

Let's say a date bought you an expensive dinner and then invited you to his house, but you don't want to have sex. What would you do?

Scenarios like the above mention happen quite a bit, and it is awkward if one person wants to have sex but the other either doesn't or changes their mind. While it should be the norm that the sex stops once consent is withdrawn, many people don't think they have the right to withdraw consent in these situations.

A new study from the Family Planning Association said 39% of teenagers didn't think it was ok to withdraw consent while naked and 45% got most of their sex ed from television and movies. And while some media is getting more woke, many romantic encounters on video incorrectly show that it is standard for men to not take no for an answer and that women are hypersexual and enjoy being conquested. While those two things can sometimes be true, they are not always the case. 

And that's where we have a problem.

Additionally, some of the 2000 14-17 year-olds polled by FPA said they felt obligated to have sex if a person bought them dinner or drinks, had sex with the person before, were in a bedroom, or had already kissed the person, Cosmopolitan reported. 

This feeling of not having any control over one's sexuality, especially with women, can stem from a human need to be liked and agreeable; but that need should not override one's own safety or comfort. In the end, a person who wants to withdraw consent should and they should be able to do it at any time during a sexual encounter. If that withdrawal upsets or angers their partner, then they aren't with someone who respects their feelings as much as their own, and the match is not a good one and both parties should go separate ways. 

It has been proven that sex education given to young people in recent years has not adequately taught consent or the ramifications of sex on one's emotional state, and the media is not a good teacher either. If you know any young people who may have questions about relationships, it is highly suggested that you let them know what their options are when it comes to these types of encounters.

Overall, sex should be fun, not something granted through coercion or false obligation.  

Rate of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis on the Rise


In the past, horny college kids at spring break could get the clap and then return home, take some medicine, and go on their merry ways. But now, some STDs have developed the ability to fight antibiotics, and more and more people are getting infected.

With the alarming rise of STDs, healthcare professionals have called for the federal government to take action.

"It is time that President Trump and [Health and Human Services] Secretary [Alex] Azar declare STDs in America a public health crisis," David Harvey, executive director of the National Coalition of STD Directors, said, according to CNN. "What goes along with that is emergency access to public health funding to make a dent in these STD rates and to bring these rates down and to ensure that all Americans get access to the health care that they need."

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are on the rise for the fourth consecutive year. Research has shown that the amount of sexual activity in Americans has gone down, but the number of people diagnosed with STDs ballooned to 2.3 million this year. 

The CDC's numbers are terrifying, considering that in 2016, the number of Americans diagnosed with STDs was 200,000. So what is causing this increase?

"We know today that some of what is driving congenital syphilis are women who are trading sex for drugs and that that explains some of the infections we are seeing in babies of syphilis," Harvey said. "There are infectious disease consequences of the opioid epidemic in America, including sexually transmitted infections."

Members of the healthcare community noted that there needs to be changes in the way we screen, prevent and treat sexually transmitted diseases, and they noted that some strains of STDs are now resisting the medicine that used to destroy the diseases in the past, meaning more medical development should be funded. 

"It's important to realize that the gonococcus, the bacteria that causes gonorrhea, has reliably developed resistance to every antibiotic that has ever been used to treat the infection. But in the past 15 to 20 years, the number of new antibiotics available and the development of new antibiotics has slowed greatly. So we have this continued inexorable process of the gonococcus developing antimicrobial resistance, coupled with fewer new antibiotics to pick up and take care of the problem if it develops," Dr. Edward Hook said. "That's a very troublesome combination."

CNN reported that there are millions of people with just the three STDs mentioned. In 2013, "there were 1,752,285 total cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis diagnosed in the United States. That number grew to 1,811,850 in 2014; 1,945,746 in 2015; 2,094,682 in 2016; and 2,294,821 in 2017, according to the preliminary CDC data."

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How Body Positivity Can Lead to Good Sex


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 7)

Body positivity has been on the rise in recent years, but people often still feel insecure getting naked with a new partner. But I argue that loving your body can help you have a better sex life, so get to feeling confident!

If You Want to Get Pregnant, Have Sex Twice in a Night

In my twenties, the idea of getting pregnant terrified me and my friends, who were busy pursuing their careers or trying to finish overpriced schooling. But as the years passed and more of my friends are married or have already had children, it's fascinating to think how people are trying to have children, and that not getting pregnant is a source of frustration or anguish. 

But what can couples who want children do to help their chances of getting pregnant? Well, a new study from China suggests that boning twice in a night is one way to increase the odds. 

Dr. Da Li at Shengjing University studied semen and told the Huffington Post that conventional wisdom to abstain from sex until ovulation was a falsehood. 

“For years, men have usually been advised to limit sexual activity to increase the chances of pregnancy,” said Dr. Li. “However, it’s time to change our minds. Our data indicates couples with relatively normal semen parameters should have frequent sex around the ovulation period. This could make all the difference to their efforts to start a family.”

Li said that men who ejaculate twice in a night have better odds of fertilizing an egg than a man who has sex once after waiting for days or weeks. Li said that the second ejaculation has faster sperm and more proteins, and the research team studied almost 500 couples.

“A typical live birth rate in a cohort of this size is about 30 percent,” said Li. “In the experimental cohort, live births were higher by one-third.”

Study Says Stoners Have More Sex Than Non-Tokers

When we think of stoners, we think of happy, unmotivated people who watch a lot of TV and eat munchies, but apparently, the Shaggy stereotype is just that. In fact, people who smoke weed are actually super, sexy lovers, a new study reports. 

Researchers at Stanford analyzed data from over 28,000 women and almost 23,000 men to find out what link marijuana had to one's sexuality. The study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine,  found that “marijuana use is independently associated with increased sexual frequency and does not appear to impair sexual function.” Additionally, people who smoke pot reported having more sex than people who didn't toke. 

"Frequent marijuana use doesn't seem to impair sexual motivation or performance. If anything, it's associated with increased coital frequency," Michael Eisenberg, the senior author of the study, stated.

Eisenberg said that the study did not show that marijuana made people hornier but that the results hint at that. In the United States, marijuana is federally illegal, but a few states have legalized recreational pot and many have legalized medicinal weed. 

Social Media Harming Our Mental Health


Back in the day, if bullies wanted to get you, they'd call you names to your face or egg your house, but nowadays, bullies can easily torment their victims through the internet. A new study conducted in the UK by the Centre for Mental Health said that social media has caused a significant amount of harm in 45% of adults.

"Evidence about the roles social media play in relation to our mental health is still emerging," the Centre for Mental said, according to Metro. "And while more has been said and written about the potential risks and dangers, evidence has come to light on both positive and negative impacts that may be associated with social media use."

Social media can cause addiction and be a tool for cyber bullies, and it can also flare up jealousy and depression when people see their friends supposedly living better lives than them.

The report, conducted in the UK, asked that the government intervene on this growing problem, and it stated that young people are particularly vulnerable to negative side effects of platforms like Facebook and Twitter.

Even the Pope Says Sex Is Cool



Religious people or people who claim to be religious are some of the biggest anti-sex advocates out there. They're always using the Bible to justify some sort of law to control people's behavior, but now one of the highest religious authorities is countering that point of view.

“Sex is a gift the Lord gives us. It has two purposes: for loving each other and generating life," Pope Francis said, according to Express. "It is passion, it is passionate love. True love is passionate. Sexuality, sex, is a gift of God. Not taboo."

Pope Francis is overall known as the Cool Pope because he actually seems to care about Jesus' teachings and helping the poor. While the ongoing priest abuse scandals have tarnished his reputation, he is still trying harder than his predecessors to right those wrongs. 

The pope made his sex-is-cool comments to a group of youngsters in France this year. While he may have given the act a stamp of approval, it should also be noted that he was still in the dark ages when it came to acknowledging homosexuality and condemning pornography. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How To Stop Dating Losers


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 6) We’ve all been on bad dates, but what happens if you ONLY go out with terrible people? How do you stop this plague of loser dates? Author and journalist Teresa Lo says to stop dating losers you have to do a better job of screening, and she offers tips on how to spot these wannabe-Mark Wahlbergs and stop wasting your time.

What To Do If College Students Quit Taking Their Medication


When I was in high school, I was aware of mental health issues, but I did not know of many people who actually sought treatment or were prescribed medication. The only times I had known of someone seeking care was if they had committed an extreme act of self-harm.

But that was years ago. Students now are more likely to have been diagnosed with mental health conditions before entering college. These students are given medication as an important component of their care, but according to the Arizona Daily Sun, some students stop taking their pills once they're away from the watchful eyes of their parents.

Psychiatrist Bruce Cohen told the Arizona Daily Sun that some students don't want to be seen as a problem so they don't like to ask for help. When these kids go off to college and are on their own, being busy sometimes results in them forgetting to take their meds or wanting to see what life is like without them. When students stop taking meds, they don't notice a problem right away, which makes them think they never needed them.

“A few days you don’t take it and you don’t feel terrible,” Cohen said. “So you think maybe you don’t need it.”

A study about medication found that prescriptions for adolescents rose from 14% in the 1990s to 20% in the mid-2000s. 

“We are now able to help students enough that they actually get into college, whereas 20 years ago, they wouldn’t have,” Cohen said.

Psychologist Matthew Wintersteen told the Arizona Daily Sun that students in college want to be viewed as independent and may not want to acknowledge having a mental illness. The idea of feeling like they have to take meds is challenging for them because of these reasons.

But when students are pushed into new environments and aren't taking medicine, this can result in extended periods of anxiety or depression, and students may also try to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. To fight this problem, doctors suggest parents talk to their kids before they go to college about medication and counseling.

Majority of Male Transgender Youth Attempt Suicide, Research Shows


Transgender adolescents are more likely to try to commit suicide than youth who identify with the gender identity that matches their chromosomes.

In September, a study was published in Pediatrics that studied the suicide rate in young people. Researchers analyzed data collected from over 120,000 adolescents, aged 11 to 19. Of those individuals less than 1% identified as transgender.

Fifty-one percent of transgender male youth reported that they had tried to kill themselves at least once, 42% of nonbinary young people reported suicide attempts, and 30% of transgender female adolescents said they had attempted suicide. Of all the study participants about 14% said they had attempted suicide.

According to the Center for Disease Control, the number one cause of death amongst adolescents is accidents and suicide is the second leading cause.

“For every transgender group, it’s orders of magnitude too high,” transgender activist Greta Gustava Martela said to the Washington Post. “And there’s nothing shocking about it. If you look at the things that cause people to be suicidal, whether it’s social rejection or homelessness, they all affect trans people more.”

One Major Reason To Make Your Bed Every Morning

I am a messy person, naturally. I don't enjoy picking up after myself. If smells or bugs didn't exist, I'd let my dirty dishes just pile up in the sink, and I constantly fantasize about hiring a monthly or even weekly maid.

YET...

I am tidy. Every morning I make my bed. I tidy up after myself so that things aren't chaotically strewn about. I dust.

Chaos in one's environment has a negative effect on my mood, so even though I hate to clean, I force myself to be neat.

And apparently, that mindfulness not only adds to my positive mental health but also to my sex life. A study from OnePoll commissioned by Sleepopolis said that people who made their beds daily on average reported more sex than their less mindful counterparts.

A spokesperson from Sleepopolis said that the reason for this is that the mindful bed maker may be getting more sleep because of his or her lifestyle.

“Results highlighted the sleep loss epidemic that Americans are facing – sleep is incredibly important to our mental and physical health, yet the average American is only getting six and a half hours per night,” Sleepopolis’ director of content Logan Block said, according to the Toronto Sun. “There are many easy solutions to getting more sleep, including going to bed at an earlier time and being in a comfortable environment conducive to sleep.”

The research was compiled by polling 2,000 Americans. 

Submissive Women Aroused By Other People's Pain


People who enjoy BDSM are born liking BDSM over vanilla sex, and new research shows that submissive women have certain personality traits relating to empathy and pain.

Submissive women in BDSM can be subjected to consensual emotional of physical abuse or control, and research shows that they are aroused by pain, according to the Deccan Chronicle. This enjoyment of pain effects the way they see pain in others too. When others experience it, submissive women are not moved to feel sympathy or empathy like "normal people" typically do.

The study was published in the journal, Neuropsychologia, and it suggested that BDSM desensitizes people to pain and suffering.

The study was conducted in China, and the researchers found female submissives were aroused by pain more than dominant women or men. Previous research also said that submissive women had less fear of rejection than vanilla women and were less neurotic people. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: What Do You Do If You're Being Sexually Harassed?


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 5) When the #MeToo movement exploded in 2017, the problem of sexual harassment at work and school was exposed, and many high-profile men resigned or were fired as a response. But ousting a few bad apples does not actually solve the problem, which had already been addressed through legislation decades ago. Many men and women continue to deal with sexual harassment, and some of them decide to file lawsuits or go public with their stories. Last year, Teresa Lo interviewed several employment lawyers about what to do if you are being sexually harassed, and they offered several tips to protect yourself and to fight back.

3 Sad Truths About Sexual Assault


In late September, millions of Americans watched the Brett Kavanaugh Senate Judiciary Hearing regarding the sexual assault allegations brought on by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Ford gave her testimony first, and she spoke calmly, trying to fight back tears. She answered questions thrown at her by a Republican-appointed prosecutor, Rachel Mitchell, and she came across as a credible witness who said that she "100%" believed Kavanaugh had tried to rape her when they were teenagers. Kavanaugh testified next, and he passionately argued that he did not discredit that Ford had been assaulted but that it was not him. He presented proof that he had not been at the party at the time Ford said she was assaulted, and like Ford, he also appeared credible.

The outcry by Republicans and Democrats about this hearing were astounding. People who saw the exact same testimonies and were given the same information interpreted the events in different ways. Republicans felt that Ford may have been assaulted but that she got the wrong guy. Democrats vehemently believed the victim and therefore assumed Kavanaugh was a liar. The divisive hearing was a stark reminder of how differently people can think and how differently women and men are treated in this country.

Studies have shown that people who lean conservative view the world as one that needs to be protected. They see threats. They hate change because change has the probability of being terrible. Because of this point of view, they prefer hierarchy and established norms. Liberals, on the other hand, view the world as one of cooperation, and one that will be better with equality. Because the world is not equal, they constantly make moves to change it to meet this ideal.

As the #MeToo movement and the Kavanaugh-Ford hearing has shown, women of all races, ages, and classes are not always safe from predatory men. Women who stay silent are not usually believed if they ever come forward, and women who report right away may be retraumatized by the public or justice system only to see their assailant walk free.

The Kavanaugh hearing is a reminder that not all people believe women when it comes to sexual assault, and this has been a sad truth for decades. And while I wish that I could write a positive post about how victims can protect themselves or fight back, in instances of sexual violence, there are no guarantees of safety, no easy steps to take after a wrong has been committed, and no real solution for this problem on the horizon.

So what can women do to cope with this societal message that their bodies are not valued as much as men's? One thing to do is to continuously talk about safety and gender and to know that whatever actions they take that it is not their fault and that others have experienced the same thing.

3 Facts About Sexual Assault 

1. Sexual assaults are usually caused by someone you know
In cases where a sober woman is raped by a stranger, juries and the public are usually automatically outraged, and the perpetrator is usually found guilty. But in the US, one in five women are assaulted by someone they knew.

2. Most victims do not immediately report their sexual assaults to law enforcement
Because most sexual assaults are caused by family members, friends, or acquaintances, many women who are naturally agreeable tend to keep the trauma to themselves or only share with a few confidantes. These victims tend to not want to "cause trouble," and they think that the situation will either not be resolved, won't happen again, or is not a big deal. Whatever their reasoning, this desire to not punish their abusers results in two out of three victims not going to the police or other authorities right away.

3. Victims who do come forward are often scrutinized more than the assailants
For women who immediately report rape or sexual assault, their lives are not easier than women who chose to stay silent. Women who undergo rape kits, an invasive forensic medical examination after a sexual assault, don't always receive justice. There are thousands of rape kits that are untested by police departments, and even if a rape kit is performed, the woman must then prove that the sex was not consensual, something that is hard to do if the sexual assault occurred while inebriated and with a friend or acquaintance. In the US, less than 20% of reported rapes lead to an arrest and only 2% ever end in a conviction.