Flight Attendants Admit They Sometimes Have Sex with Passengers

Some of us have fantasized about joining the mile-high club. But ticking off that move from our sexual bucket list is as elusive as winning the Powerball jackpot. Even if we get into the tiny space with a would-be lover, the smell of airport Cinnabon-induced dump and the bright blue toilet water is a true libido-killer.

And you’re probably never going to get into the bathroom with someone else anyway because the flight attendants are always lingering and watching. The reason being is that they know people want to have sex, and they know this because they boff in the sky too!

A 2016 study from British company Jetcost found that 21 percent of flight attendants have fucked a colleague while flying in the air, which explains why it takes so damn long to get your Ginger Ale and pretzels. Even crazier, 14 percent of flight attendants admitted to making whoopee with passengers. Either the people involved were just too damn sexy or someone on a flight was just really desperate for a free chicken salad sandwich.

Jetcost interviewed 718 flight attendants, and 89 percent of them admitted to breaking company rules. Flight attendants said this included more than just sexing. They told Jetcost that they’ve lied to passengers about the availability of duty free products, short-changed people, and accepted gifts and tips. So not only are some flight attendants horny, but they’re lazy and thieving. That’s good to know the next time your luggage mysteriously disappears.

Flight attendants said that they lied about not having duty-free products in stock solely because of laziness. Since the attendants don’t get a cut of sales, they just tell passengers there aren’t any products so they don’t have to schlep to the back of the plane to retrieve cigarettes, Jack Daniels, or whatever shit people buy while flying.

When it came to short-changing, the flight attendants admitted that they do it purposefully to pocket the extra money. They said they’d short passengers by either giving them change in a different currency or they relied on gullible passengers just not checking the cash they got back. After all, who’d suspect a smiling flight attendant who looks so dapper in that airline vest?

Jetcost said that on average tricky flight attendants kept about $419 a year. That could explain why a lot of American companies no longer allow cash exchanges when buying things. It’s all because of shifty workers who’d risk losing their jobs for the cost of a round-trip ticket from Kansas City to Dallas.

Lastly, flight attendants confessed that they accepted gifts and tips, which are strict company no-nos. While this broken rule doesn’t seem as bad as the others, it really makes you wonder—Who brings flight attendants gifts? And why? Is it because they want special treatment? Because if you’re flying first class, they’re going to kiss your ass for sure, and if you’re flying coach, the experience is so shitty that getting treated a little better is still not amounting to much. The only logical explanation in our dirty minds is that these generous passengers make up the lucky 14 percent that get dirty with the in-flight crew. Bow-chiga-wow-wow! Bring on those peanuts!