10 Compatibity Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

When we embark on relationships, we never know how long they'll last. Sometimes all we want are fun flings, but other instances we fall hard, thinking our partners are "The One." In some cases, those partners truly are our soulmates, people who share our values, lifestyles, and dreams, but other times we are blinded by love and forget to ask tough questions that expose issues that will drive apart the union down the road. 

Researchers at the University of Exeter studied why relationships fail, according to The Independent, and to conduct their study, they spoke with couples, divorce attorneys, mediators, and judges. 

The couples were in different stages--still together or separated--and the researchers interviewed them about what worked and didn't. 

The lawyers and judges were asked why they thought relationships ended and they cited the following main reasons: incompatibility, unrealistic expectations, inability to face issues in the relationship and “failure to nurture” the relationship. 

From all this information, those at the University of Exeter created a list of ten questions couples must ask themselves to test the strengths and weaknesses of their relationships.   

These 10 questions are:
  1. Are my partner and I a ‘good fit’?
  2. Do we have a strong basis of friendship?
  3. Do we want the same things in our relationship and out of life?
  4. Are our expectations realistic?
  5. Do we generally see the best in each other?
  6. Do we both work at keeping our relationship vibrant?
  7. Do we both feel we can discuss things freely and raise issues with each other?
  8. Are we both committed to working through hard times?
  9. When we face stressful circumstances would we pull together to get through it?

Professor Anne Barlow led the study, and she said that couples that lasted throughout the years were a "good fit" and knew how to handle tough times together as a team.

“Of course every relationship is different, and it is important that couples build relationships that are meaningful to them, but we found thriving relationships share some fundamental qualities,” Barlow said. “Mostly the couple have chosen a partner with whom they are a ‘good fit’ and have ways of successfully navigating stressful times. These 10 critical questions can help people as they decide if they are compatible with a person they are considering sharing their life with and flag the importance of dealing with issues when they arise as well as of nurturing the relationship over time.”