BLOG UPDATE: Posts will be on hold for the rest of the year

Hi everyone!

Thanks for spending time here at The Daily T.Lo. I had a lot of fun sharing posts with you daily, and it was fun exploring the topic of love, sex, and relationships. However, I regret to say that I am putting this endeavor on hold for the time being.

As an independent creator, I don't have a lot of time or resources to create content, so I have to be careful where I put my energy. For the next few months, I'd like to try my hand at making more videos and a podcast, so I'll still be online just not on this blog!

I'm going to put my content mostly on social media, so if you're not following me already, here is where you can reach me:

www.instagram.com/teresalowriter
www.facebook.com/teresalowriter
www.twitter.com/teresalo_tweets

Thanks again for all your support and see you around!

XOXO
T.Lo

Tuesdays with T.Lo Update

Hi everyone!

I wanted to thank you all for watching season one of Tuesdays with T.Lo! It was a fun project to collaborate with Marva Whitaker, Michael J. Martinez, Rebecca Lo, and Danny Zuker; and I'm excited to keep making videos. 

For the next season, I'm going to try out a new format, possibly a live one, so stay tuned! I'll provide more updates here on this blog as well as on Facebook

Thanks again!

T.Lo 

Italian Man Who Bed Thousands of Women Dies During Sex


Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have bed 20,000 women. Charlie Sheen is rumored to have boned 5,000 women, Warren Beatty 13,000. While it seems crazy to think someone even knows thousands of people, there are some men who will go down in history as being playboys, and in late September, Italy lost a legend, according to the New York Post.

Maurizio Zanfanti, 63, died while having sex with a woman 40 years younger than him. It was rumored that he had bedded 6,000 women after he became a nightclub promoter in Rimini, Italy. He was dubbed the Romeo of Rimini, and he used his charms to lure people to come out and party.

The Italian womanizer suffered a heart attack in the backseat of a car while getting busy with a 23-year-old Romanian tourist. Locals who seemed to admire this Lothario said that he was "Italy's most successful lover" and he died the way he would've wanted to.

Over 1 in 50 People Have HPV in Their Throats

Most people know by now that the human papillomavirus (HPV) can cause cervical cancer. But HPV can linger in people's throats, causing throat cancer in women and men.

In England, more than 1 in 50 people are carrying HPV in their throats, according to a study published in the British Medical Journal Open. The study stated that oral sex and smoking were the leading transmitters of the virus.

“Many people associate the HPV virus with cervical cancer but there is less recognition of the fact that HPV causes oropharyngeal cancer, and unfortunately the prevalence of this cancer has increased dramatically in the past few years," Dr. Craig Murdoch said in The Independent. 

Researchers from the University of Sheffeld tested 700 British men and women for HPV and asked them lifestyle questions that ranged from their sexual history to smoking habits. The study was led by Dr. Vanessa Hearnden, who she said that she supports programs that vaccinate boys for HPV. 

Currently, countries such as the US encourage girls to get HPV vaccinations, but they do not emphasize prevention for males. 

People Who Plan Ahead Have Awesome Sex


Buying organizers at The Container Store may be a thrill for me, as well as staying on schedule and budgeting. But being mindful is not necessarily what I'd consider a sexy trait, but a German research group argues that people who plan ahead are way better lovers than those who are easy going.

This year, psychologists from the Ruhr University Bochum published a study in the Journal of Sex Research, and it said that conscientious people were more likely to be sexually satisfied than their less-disciplined counterparts. 

The psychologists surveyed almost 1,000 couples, most of whom were straight, and they asked them about their personality traits and the quality of their sex lives. 

Women who were conscientious said they were the most sexually satisfied, and men who were dutiful were reported as excellent lovers who aimed to please. 

The study suggested that planning romance and intimacy helped couples stay strong and fulfilled, and mindful couples tended to have longer relationships than people who were carefree.

“High conscientiousness can be especially beneficial when it comes to putting effort into a satisfying sexual life,” author Julia Velten tells Quartz, “or to postpone one’s own needs and interests to focus on resolving a sexual problem within the context of committed, long-term relationships.”

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How To Tell If You're Dating a Racist


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 8) Unless you’re Richard Spencer or Ann Coulter, you probably don’t want to date a racist. But how can you spot a racist online before you go on that first date? T.Lo breaks down what to look for in a dating profile, shares her thoughts on interracial dating, and describes the differences between having a type and a race fetish.

Can Yoga Improve Your Sex Life?

Back when I was living in Kansas, I heard about the healing powers of yoga, and although I didn't have access to any classes, I bought tapes from Sams Club and tried to do moves that were printed in magazines.

Now that I live in Los Angeles, I'm a happy yogi, taking classes at least 2-3 times a week, and doing yoga makes me feel calm and keeps me limber. Years prior, I had been rear-ended on the highway twice, which severely fucked up my back, and yoga was one of the tools in my pocket that I used to ease my pain and strengthen my spine.

But what else can yoga do? Ana Sandolu argued on Medical News Today that it can actually help your sex life. She said that yoga improves sexual function in women and men, helps the body with sexual function, and releases bad energy.

To back up her claims, Sandolu used prior medical studies, but she noted that there was a "large discrepancy between the amount of so-called empirical, or experimental, evidence, and that of non-empirical, or anecdotal, evidence."

"While we need more scientific evidence to support yoga's benefits for our sex lives, the seeds are definitely there. Until future research can ascertain whether "yogasms" are a real, achievable thing, we think that there's enough reason to incorporate yoga in our daily routines," Sandolu wrote. "Trying it out for ourselves could prove tremendously enriching — and our pelvic muscles will definitely thank us for it."

If you search the internet, you'll probably find numerous yoga blogs touting anecdotal stories of how yoga helps with sex. And while the medical research may be slim, yoga is still worth trying for anyone who wants to spice up their moves in the bedroom. I mean, if anything, you'll be flexible and stronger, and that's definitely sexy. 

Your Job Influences Who You'll Marry


Every time I meet a new person, one of the standard get-to-know-you-questions is, "What do you do?" Not only does this question define what you do with the majority of your time, but it also signifies your social status, your education level, your income, and apparently...your spouse.

Bloomberg Business conducted research that was published in 2016 about who people married, and using data from the US Census Bureau, they discovered what many of us already suspected--people in certain industries marry within that industry. This could be because of who they are in proximity to and who they have the most in common with.

For instance, chefs, male and female, tend to marry other restaurant professionals or maids. Salespeople tend to marry other salespeople. Doctors marry fellow doctors or nurses. Judges marry lawyers. And so on and so on.

What's interesting too is that some jobs such as farmers marry other farmers but also teachers. Male flight attendants, male CEOs, male cops, and male financial analysts also tend to go for teachers. While the data did not state why these men fell for teachers, teachers tend to have nurturing and intellectual personalities that are extremely attractive to people of all ages. Plus, everyone has had a teacher at some point in their life, which means that there is a commonality for any other profession to be able to connect with an educator.

So if you happen to be single and you're surfing for potential partners online, you may have better luck if you narrow down your search to someone in your field of work. While some people claim to hate dating someone with the same job, it may actually lead to marriage in the long run.

Many Young People Aren't Aware They Can Withdraw Consent Once Naked


Let's say you're fooling around with your date, and you get naked. But then your date tells you something that is offputting, and you decide to not have sex. The date gets mad and insists you owe it to them. What would you do?

Let's say you're drunk and start fooling around with someone, but halfway through, you don't want to have sex anymore. What would you do?

Let's say a date bought you an expensive dinner and then invited you to his house, but you don't want to have sex. What would you do?

Scenarios like the above mention happen quite a bit, and it is awkward if one person wants to have sex but the other either doesn't or changes their mind. While it should be the norm that the sex stops once consent is withdrawn, many people don't think they have the right to withdraw consent in these situations.

A new study from the Family Planning Association said 39% of teenagers didn't think it was ok to withdraw consent while naked and 45% got most of their sex ed from television and movies. And while some media is getting more woke, many romantic encounters on video incorrectly show that it is standard for men to not take no for an answer and that women are hypersexual and enjoy being conquested. While those two things can sometimes be true, they are not always the case. 

And that's where we have a problem.

Additionally, some of the 2000 14-17 year-olds polled by FPA said they felt obligated to have sex if a person bought them dinner or drinks, had sex with the person before, were in a bedroom, or had already kissed the person, Cosmopolitan reported. 

This feeling of not having any control over one's sexuality, especially with women, can stem from a human need to be liked and agreeable; but that need should not override one's own safety or comfort. In the end, a person who wants to withdraw consent should and they should be able to do it at any time during a sexual encounter. If that withdrawal upsets or angers their partner, then they aren't with someone who respects their feelings as much as their own, and the match is not a good one and both parties should go separate ways. 

It has been proven that sex education given to young people in recent years has not adequately taught consent or the ramifications of sex on one's emotional state, and the media is not a good teacher either. If you know any young people who may have questions about relationships, it is highly suggested that you let them know what their options are when it comes to these types of encounters.

Overall, sex should be fun, not something granted through coercion or false obligation.  

Rate of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis on the Rise


In the past, horny college kids at spring break could get the clap and then return home, take some medicine, and go on their merry ways. But now, some STDs have developed the ability to fight antibiotics, and more and more people are getting infected.

With the alarming rise of STDs, healthcare professionals have called for the federal government to take action.

"It is time that President Trump and [Health and Human Services] Secretary [Alex] Azar declare STDs in America a public health crisis," David Harvey, executive director of the National Coalition of STD Directors, said, according to CNN. "What goes along with that is emergency access to public health funding to make a dent in these STD rates and to bring these rates down and to ensure that all Americans get access to the health care that they need."

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are on the rise for the fourth consecutive year. Research has shown that the amount of sexual activity in Americans has gone down, but the number of people diagnosed with STDs ballooned to 2.3 million this year. 

The CDC's numbers are terrifying, considering that in 2016, the number of Americans diagnosed with STDs was 200,000. So what is causing this increase?

"We know today that some of what is driving congenital syphilis are women who are trading sex for drugs and that that explains some of the infections we are seeing in babies of syphilis," Harvey said. "There are infectious disease consequences of the opioid epidemic in America, including sexually transmitted infections."

Members of the healthcare community noted that there needs to be changes in the way we screen, prevent and treat sexually transmitted diseases, and they noted that some strains of STDs are now resisting the medicine that used to destroy the diseases in the past, meaning more medical development should be funded. 

"It's important to realize that the gonococcus, the bacteria that causes gonorrhea, has reliably developed resistance to every antibiotic that has ever been used to treat the infection. But in the past 15 to 20 years, the number of new antibiotics available and the development of new antibiotics has slowed greatly. So we have this continued inexorable process of the gonococcus developing antimicrobial resistance, coupled with fewer new antibiotics to pick up and take care of the problem if it develops," Dr. Edward Hook said. "That's a very troublesome combination."

CNN reported that there are millions of people with just the three STDs mentioned. In 2013, "there were 1,752,285 total cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis diagnosed in the United States. That number grew to 1,811,850 in 2014; 1,945,746 in 2015; 2,094,682 in 2016; and 2,294,821 in 2017, according to the preliminary CDC data."

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How Body Positivity Can Lead to Good Sex


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 7)

Body positivity has been on the rise in recent years, but people often still feel insecure getting naked with a new partner. But I argue that loving your body can help you have a better sex life, so get to feeling confident!

If You Want to Get Pregnant, Have Sex Twice in a Night

In my twenties, the idea of getting pregnant terrified me and my friends, who were busy pursuing their careers or trying to finish overpriced schooling. But as the years passed and more of my friends are married or have already had children, it's fascinating to think how people are trying to have children, and that not getting pregnant is a source of frustration or anguish. 

But what can couples who want children do to help their chances of getting pregnant? Well, a new study from China suggests that boning twice in a night is one way to increase the odds. 

Dr. Da Li at Shengjing University studied semen and told the Huffington Post that conventional wisdom to abstain from sex until ovulation was a falsehood. 

“For years, men have usually been advised to limit sexual activity to increase the chances of pregnancy,” said Dr. Li. “However, it’s time to change our minds. Our data indicates couples with relatively normal semen parameters should have frequent sex around the ovulation period. This could make all the difference to their efforts to start a family.”

Li said that men who ejaculate twice in a night have better odds of fertilizing an egg than a man who has sex once after waiting for days or weeks. Li said that the second ejaculation has faster sperm and more proteins, and the research team studied almost 500 couples.

“A typical live birth rate in a cohort of this size is about 30 percent,” said Li. “In the experimental cohort, live births were higher by one-third.”

Study Says Stoners Have More Sex Than Non-Tokers

When we think of stoners, we think of happy, unmotivated people who watch a lot of TV and eat munchies, but apparently, the Shaggy stereotype is just that. In fact, people who smoke weed are actually super, sexy lovers, a new study reports. 

Researchers at Stanford analyzed data from over 28,000 women and almost 23,000 men to find out what link marijuana had to one's sexuality. The study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine,  found that “marijuana use is independently associated with increased sexual frequency and does not appear to impair sexual function.” Additionally, people who smoke pot reported having more sex than people who didn't toke. 

"Frequent marijuana use doesn't seem to impair sexual motivation or performance. If anything, it's associated with increased coital frequency," Michael Eisenberg, the senior author of the study, stated.

Eisenberg said that the study did not show that marijuana made people hornier but that the results hint at that. In the United States, marijuana is federally illegal, but a few states have legalized recreational pot and many have legalized medicinal weed. 

Social Media Harming Our Mental Health


Back in the day, if bullies wanted to get you, they'd call you names to your face or egg your house, but nowadays, bullies can easily torment their victims through the internet. A new study conducted in the UK by the Centre for Mental Health said that social media has caused a significant amount of harm in 45% of adults.

"Evidence about the roles social media play in relation to our mental health is still emerging," the Centre for Mental said, according to Metro. "And while more has been said and written about the potential risks and dangers, evidence has come to light on both positive and negative impacts that may be associated with social media use."

Social media can cause addiction and be a tool for cyber bullies, and it can also flare up jealousy and depression when people see their friends supposedly living better lives than them.

The report, conducted in the UK, asked that the government intervene on this growing problem, and it stated that young people are particularly vulnerable to negative side effects of platforms like Facebook and Twitter.

Even the Pope Says Sex Is Cool



Religious people or people who claim to be religious are some of the biggest anti-sex advocates out there. They're always using the Bible to justify some sort of law to control people's behavior, but now one of the highest religious authorities is countering that point of view.

“Sex is a gift the Lord gives us. It has two purposes: for loving each other and generating life," Pope Francis said, according to Express. "It is passion, it is passionate love. True love is passionate. Sexuality, sex, is a gift of God. Not taboo."

Pope Francis is overall known as the Cool Pope because he actually seems to care about Jesus' teachings and helping the poor. While the ongoing priest abuse scandals have tarnished his reputation, he is still trying harder than his predecessors to right those wrongs. 

The pope made his sex-is-cool comments to a group of youngsters in France this year. While he may have given the act a stamp of approval, it should also be noted that he was still in the dark ages when it came to acknowledging homosexuality and condemning pornography. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: How To Stop Dating Losers


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 6) We’ve all been on bad dates, but what happens if you ONLY go out with terrible people? How do you stop this plague of loser dates? Author and journalist Teresa Lo says to stop dating losers you have to do a better job of screening, and she offers tips on how to spot these wannabe-Mark Wahlbergs and stop wasting your time.

What To Do If College Students Quit Taking Their Medication


When I was in high school, I was aware of mental health issues, but I did not know of many people who actually sought treatment or were prescribed medication. The only times I had known of someone seeking care was if they had committed an extreme act of self-harm.

But that was years ago. Students now are more likely to have been diagnosed with mental health conditions before entering college. These students are given medication as an important component of their care, but according to the Arizona Daily Sun, some students stop taking their pills once they're away from the watchful eyes of their parents.

Psychiatrist Bruce Cohen told the Arizona Daily Sun that some students don't want to be seen as a problem so they don't like to ask for help. When these kids go off to college and are on their own, being busy sometimes results in them forgetting to take their meds or wanting to see what life is like without them. When students stop taking meds, they don't notice a problem right away, which makes them think they never needed them.

“A few days you don’t take it and you don’t feel terrible,” Cohen said. “So you think maybe you don’t need it.”

A study about medication found that prescriptions for adolescents rose from 14% in the 1990s to 20% in the mid-2000s. 

“We are now able to help students enough that they actually get into college, whereas 20 years ago, they wouldn’t have,” Cohen said.

Psychologist Matthew Wintersteen told the Arizona Daily Sun that students in college want to be viewed as independent and may not want to acknowledge having a mental illness. The idea of feeling like they have to take meds is challenging for them because of these reasons.

But when students are pushed into new environments and aren't taking medicine, this can result in extended periods of anxiety or depression, and students may also try to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. To fight this problem, doctors suggest parents talk to their kids before they go to college about medication and counseling.

Majority of Male Transgender Youth Attempt Suicide, Research Shows


Transgender adolescents are more likely to try to commit suicide than youth who identify with the gender identity that matches their chromosomes.

In September, a study was published in Pediatrics that studied the suicide rate in young people. Researchers analyzed data collected from over 120,000 adolescents, aged 11 to 19. Of those individuals less than 1% identified as transgender.

Fifty-one percent of transgender male youth reported that they had tried to kill themselves at least once, 42% of nonbinary young people reported suicide attempts, and 30% of transgender female adolescents said they had attempted suicide. Of all the study participants about 14% said they had attempted suicide.

According to the Center for Disease Control, the number one cause of death amongst adolescents is accidents and suicide is the second leading cause.

“For every transgender group, it’s orders of magnitude too high,” transgender activist Greta Gustava Martela said to the Washington Post. “And there’s nothing shocking about it. If you look at the things that cause people to be suicidal, whether it’s social rejection or homelessness, they all affect trans people more.”

One Major Reason To Make Your Bed Every Morning

I am a messy person, naturally. I don't enjoy picking up after myself. If smells or bugs didn't exist, I'd let my dirty dishes just pile up in the sink, and I constantly fantasize about hiring a monthly or even weekly maid.

YET...

I am tidy. Every morning I make my bed. I tidy up after myself so that things aren't chaotically strewn about. I dust.

Chaos in one's environment has a negative effect on my mood, so even though I hate to clean, I force myself to be neat.

And apparently, that mindfulness not only adds to my positive mental health but also to my sex life. A study from OnePoll commissioned by Sleepopolis said that people who made their beds daily on average reported more sex than their less mindful counterparts.

A spokesperson from Sleepopolis said that the reason for this is that the mindful bed maker may be getting more sleep because of his or her lifestyle.

“Results highlighted the sleep loss epidemic that Americans are facing – sleep is incredibly important to our mental and physical health, yet the average American is only getting six and a half hours per night,” Sleepopolis’ director of content Logan Block said, according to the Toronto Sun. “There are many easy solutions to getting more sleep, including going to bed at an earlier time and being in a comfortable environment conducive to sleep.”

The research was compiled by polling 2,000 Americans. 

Submissive Women Aroused By Other People's Pain


People who enjoy BDSM are born liking BDSM over vanilla sex, and new research shows that submissive women have certain personality traits relating to empathy and pain.

Submissive women in BDSM can be subjected to consensual emotional of physical abuse or control, and research shows that they are aroused by pain, according to the Deccan Chronicle. This enjoyment of pain effects the way they see pain in others too. When others experience it, submissive women are not moved to feel sympathy or empathy like "normal people" typically do.

The study was published in the journal, Neuropsychologia, and it suggested that BDSM desensitizes people to pain and suffering.

The study was conducted in China, and the researchers found female submissives were aroused by pain more than dominant women or men. Previous research also said that submissive women had less fear of rejection than vanilla women and were less neurotic people. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: What Do You Do If You're Being Sexually Harassed?


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 5) When the #MeToo movement exploded in 2017, the problem of sexual harassment at work and school was exposed, and many high-profile men resigned or were fired as a response. But ousting a few bad apples does not actually solve the problem, which had already been addressed through legislation decades ago. Many men and women continue to deal with sexual harassment, and some of them decide to file lawsuits or go public with their stories. Last year, Teresa Lo interviewed several employment lawyers about what to do if you are being sexually harassed, and they offered several tips to protect yourself and to fight back.

3 Sad Truths About Sexual Assault


In late September, millions of Americans watched the Brett Kavanaugh Senate Judiciary Hearing regarding the sexual assault allegations brought on by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Ford gave her testimony first, and she spoke calmly, trying to fight back tears. She answered questions thrown at her by a Republican-appointed prosecutor, Rachel Mitchell, and she came across as a credible witness who said that she "100%" believed Kavanaugh had tried to rape her when they were teenagers. Kavanaugh testified next, and he passionately argued that he did not discredit that Ford had been assaulted but that it was not him. He presented proof that he had not been at the party at the time Ford said she was assaulted, and like Ford, he also appeared credible.

The outcry by Republicans and Democrats about this hearing were astounding. People who saw the exact same testimonies and were given the same information interpreted the events in different ways. Republicans felt that Ford may have been assaulted but that she got the wrong guy. Democrats vehemently believed the victim and therefore assumed Kavanaugh was a liar. The divisive hearing was a stark reminder of how differently people can think and how differently women and men are treated in this country.

Studies have shown that people who lean conservative view the world as one that needs to be protected. They see threats. They hate change because change has the probability of being terrible. Because of this point of view, they prefer hierarchy and established norms. Liberals, on the other hand, view the world as one of cooperation, and one that will be better with equality. Because the world is not equal, they constantly make moves to change it to meet this ideal.

As the #MeToo movement and the Kavanaugh-Ford hearing has shown, women of all races, ages, and classes are not always safe from predatory men. Women who stay silent are not usually believed if they ever come forward, and women who report right away may be retraumatized by the public or justice system only to see their assailant walk free.

The Kavanaugh hearing is a reminder that not all people believe women when it comes to sexual assault, and this has been a sad truth for decades. And while I wish that I could write a positive post about how victims can protect themselves or fight back, in instances of sexual violence, there are no guarantees of safety, no easy steps to take after a wrong has been committed, and no real solution for this problem on the horizon.

So what can women do to cope with this societal message that their bodies are not valued as much as men's? One thing to do is to continuously talk about safety and gender and to know that whatever actions they take that it is not their fault and that others have experienced the same thing.

3 Facts About Sexual Assault 

1. Sexual assaults are usually caused by someone you know
In cases where a sober woman is raped by a stranger, juries and the public are usually automatically outraged, and the perpetrator is usually found guilty. But in the US, one in five women are assaulted by someone they knew.

2. Most victims do not immediately report their sexual assaults to law enforcement
Because most sexual assaults are caused by family members, friends, or acquaintances, many women who are naturally agreeable tend to keep the trauma to themselves or only share with a few confidantes. These victims tend to not want to "cause trouble," and they think that the situation will either not be resolved, won't happen again, or is not a big deal. Whatever their reasoning, this desire to not punish their abusers results in two out of three victims not going to the police or other authorities right away.

3. Victims who do come forward are often scrutinized more than the assailants
For women who immediately report rape or sexual assault, their lives are not easier than women who chose to stay silent. Women who undergo rape kits, an invasive forensic medical examination after a sexual assault, don't always receive justice. There are thousands of rape kits that are untested by police departments, and even if a rape kit is performed, the woman must then prove that the sex was not consensual, something that is hard to do if the sexual assault occurred while inebriated and with a friend or acquaintance. In the US, less than 20% of reported rapes lead to an arrest and only 2% ever end in a conviction.

Most People Try Dating Out of Their League


If we were given a survey about ourselves, most of us would probably think we were more special than we were. We'd think we were richer. We'd think we were funnier. We'd think we were better looking. And maybe because of this false confidence, we tend to shoot our shots and go for partners out of our league. 

Sometimes this works. Most of the time, it doesn't.

This summer, a study published in Science Advances said that online daters are constantly going for people better than them. In fact, they spend most of their time contacting people out of their league.

Researchers looked at thousands of messages between straight men and women on a popular, free online dating platform, and they saw that most daters tended to contact people 25% more desirable than them. 

Online daters spent most of their time being ambitious, but sometimes they went for people similar in desirability. However, people rarely dated down, which also means that those pursuing people at the top were not successful. The study's author, Dr. Elizabeth Bruch of the University of Michigan, said that men were the ones who were the most aspirational.

Men mostly initiate contact on dating websites, and they tend to go for the same women, which signals that those women are the most desirable. Women tend to rarely respond to messages they get, and the researchers used their response rates to determine what males were deemed the most attractive. 

Women Over 30 May No Longer Need Pap Smears


All women know what it's like to get a pap smear. How awkward it is to put your feet up in stirrups as a doctor probes your vagina with a cold speculum. It's invasive and uncomfortable, and for women over 30, it's a practice that may be coming to an end.

NBC News wrote that the US Preventive Services Task Force released recommendations this summer that most women may opt out of pap smears. Women over 30 can safely wait five years in between tests, and they can take the HPV test instead.

Women under 30 should still get Pap smears but the organization said that it only has to be done every three years, unless recommended by a doctor.

The new recommendations were made because of evidence that cervical cancer was caused by HPV and that the HPV test was sufficient enough to spot the virus.

Men Enjoy Sex with Emotionally Unstable Women

Women are attracted to bad boys, and men like crazy women. This may change with age, but a new study shows that unagreeable men and mentally unstable women are better in bed, which gives a pretty compelling reason why people date weirdos. This research is one of the first of its kind that shows a linkage between personality and sexual performance, according to the New York Post

German researchers polled about 1,000 participants who were in long-term relationships. They found that women had better sex with less agreeable men who were also conscientious. These lovers tended to care about their needs and showed dominance. Meanwhile, males reported better sex with unstable women. 

This explains why Eddie Fisher chose Liz Taylor over Debbie Reynolds. Why Aaron Carter picked Lindsay Lohan over Hillary Duff. And so on and so on. 

The study was published in the Journal of Sex Research, and was led by Julia Velten. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: What Should You Do To Have a Great First Date?



The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 4) Hookup culture was trendy for a while, but ultimately, it’s lack of rules and structure leaves its daters feeling confused and unsatisfied. Author Teresa Lo argues that for singles to be happier in the dating world they should return to traditional courtship and “old-fashioned” dating. In this episode, T.Lo outlines everything you need to know to have a good first date. This includes: What should happen on a first date? Who should pay for a first date? What should you wear on a first date? Where should daters go to maximize romance? AND Should you hook up on a first date?

Is The Sunken Cost Effect The Reason You Are Staying in a Bad Relationship?


Have you ever waited in line for twenty minutes, but you decide to not switch lanes because you've already invested so much time in one? Have you ever stayed at a slot machine where you've lost hundreds of dollars, thinking if you kept playing you'd maybe win back your cash? Or have you ever been dating someone you find incredibly boring, but you won't leave because that'd mean an end of an era, even a lame one?

In any of these cases, you're suffering from the Sunken Cost Effect. This is a term found in the business world that describes people stupidly sticking with something doomed to fail because they've already invested time, money, or energy.

“The sunk cost effect is the general tendency for people to continue an endeavor, or continue consuming or pursuing an option, if they’ve invested time or money or some resource in it,” said Christopher Olivola, an assistant professor of marketing at Carnegie Mellon’s Tepper School of Business. “That effect becomes a fallacy if it’s pushing you to do things that are making you unhappy or worse off.”

In the examples above, we can see how foolish it is for the people to stay, but when we ourselves are in similar situations, it's hard to realize we're afraid to let go.

For people in relationships, the longer they date or are married the harder it is to separate, even if the relationship makes the partners miserable. Lovers stuck in the Sunken Cost Effect sometimes don't want to admit their own failures or they are afraid that others will judge them, so they fight for a relationship that could already be over.

In the end, it is wiser for both parties to end their bad relationship, no matter how difficult that action actually is. The longterm future gain will surpass any resources lost, and that future gain is, you guessed it, your happiness. 

And there's no price on that.

New Study Says Female Online Daters Peak at 18. Is This for Real?

When it comes to dating, men and women have different problems. Men worry that women only want them for their dough, and women worry that men don't want them after a certain age. Well, it turns out that the latter is actually true.

A new study published in the journal, Science Advances, found that the desirability of female online daters peaked at 18! Meanwhile, men's desirability peaked at 50.

What?!?

The researchers studied the online dating messages of almost 200,000 heterosexual people, and their findings echoed one from Okcupid that was published in 2010. Okcupid stated that men who were 22-30 preferred to date women younger than them, so you betcha that included teenagers...

“The age gradient for women definitely surprised us — both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was,” Elizabeth Bruch, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and an author of the study, said, according to the New York Times. 

Okcupid's study found that as men get older, their age preferences for women stayed the same, widening the gap. Unfortunately, that means for older women, it's true that their dating pool lessens as their male peers seek youth, which evolutionary biologists believe suggests fertility. 

So all those movies that joke about first wives getting annoyed that their ex-husbands have a woman half his age are actually steeped in reality....I guess you only have to look at Donald Trump, Kelsey Grammar, Larry King, or any man who's married multiple times to see this actually happens IRL. 

According to the new study, men care about physical attractiveness first. Unlike women, they don't have a strong interest in a mate's earning potential or power. Basically, women want intelligence and success. Men want youth and beauty. 

Now the study focused on desire, not actually what people could get or the chemistry that can develop between two daters. So older women and poor men still have a chance of love, that is until their settling partner's aspirations luck out.

Why do people cheat?

Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world. Not only does it feel gross to know your partner was having sex with someone else, but the deception of it may actually be more hurtful than the sex itself.

But why do people cheat? It seems more respectful to either break up with someone or be up front that you want to see other people, but cheaters choose to lie instead. Some believe it's because they are bored in their relationships. Others think it's because of a sex addiction or not being pleasured enough at home. But a new study says that it has more to do with a person's desire to seek thrills or their past sexual experiences than any other factors.

Researchers at the University of Queensland said that impulsive people or people with a high number of sexual partners were the most likely to cheat. Their study was published in the British Journal of Psychology, and they focused their research on what were the main factors that indicated if a person was likely to stray. 

The researchers said that people who tended to act on impulse rather than logic were more likely to cheat because they did not have the willpower to stop themselves if tempted.

The researchers said that people with a large number of sexual partners were likely to cheat because they had the skill to suss out who was attracted to them and how to turn that attraction into sex. 

To conduct the study, researchers surveyed 123 young heterosexual people who were in relationships and asked them about their fidelity. Men revealed that they were likely to have sex when cheating, but men and women who cheated were equally likely to commit adultery by kissing.

New Study Suggests We're Attracted to People Like Our Parents


I'm sure we've all heard at least one person say, "I married him because he's like my father." And I'm sure at that point of our lives, we laughed at that statement or pretended to fake vomit into an imaginary trashcan after the person was done talking.

But it turns out, we really do fall in love with people similar to our early caregivers. For people with nurturing parents, this means that they'll continue their cycle of security. And unfortunately, for people with bad parents, that means they'll like jerks and end up in the kind of toxic relationships that severely harm our mental health.

A new study published in the Evolution and Human Behavior stated that our parents influence who we find attractive when we are grown.

In the study, almost 800 straight women were told to look at different male body types and then asked to describe which bodies resembled their most recent partner, their ideal partner, and the shape of their father when they were children. 

The study found an association between the women's partner preferences and the look of their dad. The preference for their dad's bod increased based on how positive an influence he was in the women's lives. 

Vice said that the recent study added more information to the theory that heterosexual people's parents or early caregivers influence who they find attractive. 

"Humans, like many animals, go through a sexual “imprinting” process at a young age. During a critical period in development, we learn to associate the traits of our caregivers with those of a desirable mate. The classic demonstration of this idea, if you’ve ever taken an introductory psychology course, comes from the research of Konrad Lorenz, who demonstrated imprinting processes among baby geese," Vice stated.

Studies have shown that our parents influence our sexual preferences when it comes to body types, personality, age differences, and more. There's a reason the term "Daddy issues" and "Mommy issues" get thrown around so much when it comes to dating, and apparently it's a thing for, well, nearly everybody. 

Tuesdays with T.Lo: Can You Ghost Someone After Having Sex?


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 3) Ghosting is the practice of abruptly ending communication with someone without giving an explanation or a goodbye. It has the potential to leave people who are ghosted with feelings of abandonment and can actual cause physical pain. Despite the bad effects of ghosting, sex expert Teresa Lo argues that it is okay to ghost in certain circumstances, even after a one night stand.

Making Babies in the Winter Produces Skinnier Children


There are a lot of random wives tales about conceiving. Like if you do certain positions you'll get a boy or girl, or if lie on your back with your legs in the air for a few minutes you're more likely to make a baby instead of ooze out the sperm. But one study has a new baby-making finding, and that study comes from ETH Zurich, a university in Switzerland.

Researchers said that people who conceive in the winter cold are more likely to have skinnier children. In contrast, making babies in the summer heat are more likely to produce fat kids.

The Swiss scientists said that temperature is linked to brown adipose tissue (BAT), and that doing it in the cold is most likely to produce large amounts of BAT, which burn more calories. To make this determination, they studied 8,400 CT scans from adults and compared the scans from those who were conceived in the winter and those who were conceived in the summer.

So if you're looking to breed thin kids, head out to Canada in the winter and say hello to your future Virgo, Libra or Sagittarius! But if you're wanting adorable chubby kids, then go ahead and get it on in the heat wave. 

5 Reasons Men Become Sugar Daddies


As a creative, I've had to take on numerous low-paying jobs at once to make ends meet, and I've many a times borrowed money from family members to stay afloat. So the idea of having a magical rich boyfriend who'd solve all my financial problems is definitely something that appeals to me, but I have to wonder... why do wealthy men such as CEOS, lawyers, and doctors choose to become sugar daddies, benefactors to usually younger partners? What's in it for them? 

For over a year, I researched the sugar lifestyle for my recent book, The Sugar Baby Club, which is about two college freshmen who become sugar babies in order to fund a trip to Paris. As they get more engrossed in the lifestyle, they begin to teach other girls in their dorm how to snag rich men.

To learn more about the subject, I interviewed various sugar daddies and female sugar babies, and I learned that sugar dating is similar to regular dating but with two major exceptions. One, the relationship is usually no strings attached and this is discussed up front, and two, there is lots and lots of spoiling with gifts. 

So while it’s easy to figure out why sugar babies sign up to receive, why are there men out there so eager to give? The following are some of the most popular reasons told to me by straight sugar daddies:

1. They aren’t getting sex from their wives.
There are some single sugar daddies who like spoiling women and having the ease of a non-serious relationship. But the majority of men seeking a sugar baby tend to be married or in relationships. 

For married guys in sexless partnerships, having a sugar baby is less messy than having an affair, where mistresses might beg for divorces or threaten to tell their lover’s wives. For married men, finding a companion who wants a monthly allowance but understands the relationship’s limitations is a better choice than dealing with a costly divorce.

2. They don’t believe in monogamy.
Unlike the sexless men mentioned above, some married or coupled up men actually love their partners but still can’t help the urge to stray. Blame it on biology or a sense of entitlement, but either way, these dudes are looking and want to be discrete.

Getting a sugar baby is easier than having a girlfriend because the sugar baby has managed expectations in exchange for their funding. A lawyer with a side-piece girlfriend would end up spending a lot of money on her anyway, but he risks her blabbing to his wife or serious partner. 

3. They’re looking to spice up their sex lives.
Sugar dating websites aren’t just for singles. There are couples signed up as sugar daddy and sugar mama duos, and they’re looking to add a third to spice up their relationship. To those couples wanting to get their freak on, it’s more time efficient (and reputation-saving) to snag a sugar baby than to approach girls in their regular lives.

4. They don’t want the expectations of a relationship.
For committed men looking for some side fun, becoming a sugar daddy makes sense. But why would a single, wealthy man want to pay a young lady to hang out with him? Isn’t it just easier to meet a lady off of Bumble? Well, for one, throwing money around to get a date to not act clingy or demand a ring one day is worth the cost of a monthly allowance to some. 

According to Seeking Arrangement, a sugar baby is given on average $3,000 a month, and in bigger markets like New York, girls can command up to $4,000.

5. The money means nothing to them.
A first-year associate at a BigLaw firm can make $190,000 a year, and partners can make anywhere from $399,000 annually to up to almost $800,000 a year on average. CEOS of large corporations often have multi-million dollar yearly contracts, and doctors rake in six-figure incomes. 

There are numerous other jobs that pay these kinds of salaries, and for someone making that much dough, helping out a college student, recent graduate, or someone making a more modest income doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. In fact, the men I interviewed said that they felt good about helping women who needed it, and it actually made them feel even more high-status being a benefactor.

Exercise Can Help You Battle Depression


When I was a kid, I preferred to stay inside and read or watch TV. I remember disliking exercise so much that in a debate class I stupidly advocated to remove PE requirements at school, and now as an adult, I have done a 180 and finally see the beauty of living an active life.

Our health should be our number one priority, because without it, we don't have shit. You can be the richest person or the most beautiful person in the world, but if you aren't healthy, then you aren't happy.

Exercise not only makes you feel stronger and more energetic, but it can also battle depression. Buzzfeed News reported that a new study surveyed 1.2 million people and found that exercise can boost our moods.

"Overall, people reported having an average of 3.5 days of poor mental health in any given month, according to the report published in the Lancet Psychiatry," Buzzfeed said. "Just about any exercise — including walking or housework — helped reduce that number by an average of 1.5 days a month, or 43%. Team sports, cycling, and aerobic and gym exercises had the biggest effect, reducing poor mental health days by about 20%. Walking, on the other hand, was linked to a 10% reduction."

The people who benefited the most exercised 30-60 minutes/3-5 times a week. People who worked out more than an hour or less did not benefit as much as people who hit the golden amount of 45 minutes a session. 

"It's not like everyone has to go and run a marathon, and actually running wasn’t even the most effective," researcher Adam Chekroud said BuzzFeed News. "Things like yoga, things like walking, even household chores, seemed to have some benefit over doing nothing at all."

People who were clinically diagnosed with depression reported that exercise helped their mental health. Those who exercised reported about 7 days a month of not feeling good, compared to almost 11 days of sadness for those who weren't physically active. 

The study also found that group exercise was the most beneficial form of exercise to battle depression. Humans are social creatures, and even the shyest ones benefit from the energy of a friend; and humans also crave order. Thus, sports are the most useful activity at helping our mental health because they provide team camaraderie combined with structure. 

Does Anyone Remember the video: "Get out of my car"?


It has become a thing in American culture to record people with the intent to shame them online. In cases like Barbecue Becky and Pool Patrol Paula, the shaming is absolutely warranted and a tool to find awful people who would otherwise get away with bad behavior. But sometimes the shaming is not deserved, and the unnecessary violation of the subject's privacy becomes more of a reflection of the person behind the camera, not in front of it.

I stumbled across a viral video on Youtube called "Get out of my car!" It was released years ago, but I had never seen it until now.

In the video, an angry middle-aged white Uber driver repeatedly screams at his young female passenger to get out of his car. He had taken her to the hospital, and as he demands she gets out, she calmly stays there for at least three minutes and asks him dumb questions like "Where am I?" further provoking his rage.

As the driver yells, pretty much pleading for her to exit his property, she calmly tells him he has no right to yell at her. Then she asks him to take her to the emergency room or give her directions, as if he's 4-1-1. He tells her that he wants to call 9-1-1 to get her to leave, and she pushes him more, saying "Do it."

He never calls 9-1-1, and without seeing her face, you can hear the victory in her voice. She's loving this. 

The passenger finds this exchange humorous, and even though the man is yelling, she knows she has the power because she's upsetting him but he will never actually harm her.

Eventually, the Uber driver tells the passenger that she has been condescending throughout the trip, and he just wants her to get out. She claims that she needs to go to the ER for an emergency, but she clearly does not seem to be in any rush. As I watched each moment in this video, all I could think was WHY WON'T THIS BITCH GET OUT OF HIS CAR?!?!

The blow-up was insane to watch, but if the passenger was hoping to garner sympathy for what she instigated, then she was clearly wrong. Most people who watched the video could tell that this man was at the end of his rope and he had a squatter who seemed to enjoy his outbursts more than fear them.

When this video came out, the passenger received much-deserved backlash, but unfortunately the driver's account was suspended by Uber. I get that they didn't like how he talked to the woman, but it was apparent even from her one-sided attempt to smear him that there was a buildup before the camera started rolling.

I'm not a fan of yelling or violence in most occasions, but I also think that human beings sometimes have to escalate out of civility in order to protect themselves and their property. If this passenger had just gotten out of the car like he had asked, the driver never would've had to keep screaming.

This video was a gross reminder that there are people who pretend to be the victim, and to achieve this, they harm the reputations of those in their orbit by provoking them to their brinks. This practice is absolutely disgusting and sociopathic.

Because the wannabe victims have no remorse for their actions, it is better for people who encounter them to ignore them or run away. Unfortunately, this Uber driver didn't have that option, but luckily, he had a tape to exonerate him in the court of public opinion.

Tuesdays with T.Lo: Why "Casual Sex" Is Never Actually Casual


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 2) Author and journalist T.Lo (Hustler Magazine, The Sugar Baby Club) discusses a theory from anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher that casual sex doesn’t exist because human beings release hormones during sex that create feelings of love and attachment.

Flight Attendants Admit They Sometimes Have Sex with Passengers


Some of us have fantasized about joining the mile-high club. But ticking off that move from our sexual bucket list is as elusive as winning the Powerball jackpot. Even if we get into the tiny space with a would-be lover, the smell of airport Cinnabon-induced dump and the bright blue toilet water is a true libido-killer.

And you’re probably never going to get into the bathroom with someone else anyway because the flight attendants are always lingering and watching. The reason being is that they know people want to have sex, and they know this because they boff in the sky too!

A 2016 study from British company Jetcost found that 21 percent of flight attendants have fucked a colleague while flying in the air, which explains why it takes so damn long to get your Ginger Ale and pretzels. Even crazier, 14 percent of flight attendants admitted to making whoopee with passengers. Either the people involved were just too damn sexy or someone on a flight was just really desperate for a free chicken salad sandwich.

Jetcost interviewed 718 flight attendants, and 89 percent of them admitted to breaking company rules. Flight attendants said this included more than just sexing. They told Jetcost that they’ve lied to passengers about the availability of duty free products, short-changed people, and accepted gifts and tips. So not only are some flight attendants horny, but they’re lazy and thieving. That’s good to know the next time your luggage mysteriously disappears.

Flight attendants said that they lied about not having duty-free products in stock solely because of laziness. Since the attendants don’t get a cut of sales, they just tell passengers there aren’t any products so they don’t have to schlep to the back of the plane to retrieve cigarettes, Jack Daniels, or whatever shit people buy while flying.

When it came to short-changing, the flight attendants admitted that they do it purposefully to pocket the extra money. They said they’d short passengers by either giving them change in a different currency or they relied on gullible passengers just not checking the cash they got back. After all, who’d suspect a smiling flight attendant who looks so dapper in that airline vest?

Jetcost said that on average tricky flight attendants kept about $419 a year. That could explain why a lot of American companies no longer allow cash exchanges when buying things. It’s all because of shifty workers who’d risk losing their jobs for the cost of a round-trip ticket from Kansas City to Dallas.

Lastly, flight attendants confessed that they accepted gifts and tips, which are strict company no-nos. While this broken rule doesn’t seem as bad as the others, it really makes you wonder—Who brings flight attendants gifts? And why? Is it because they want special treatment? Because if you’re flying first class, they’re going to kiss your ass for sure, and if you’re flying coach, the experience is so shitty that getting treated a little better is still not amounting to much. The only logical explanation in our dirty minds is that these generous passengers make up the lucky 14 percent that get dirty with the in-flight crew. Bow-chiga-wow-wow! Bring on those peanuts!

If You've Ever Checked Your Phone During Sex, You're Not Alone


The rudest thing I've ever done in bed is pretend to be asleep so my boyfriend would leave me alone. But apparently, there are tons of rude people out there who actually check their phones during sex. That's what a study from SureCall said.

SureCall said that 10% of people have checked their phone during sex, and that millennials are more likely to do it than people aged 35-50.

When I learned about this, my reaction was at first, WTF? Like, is it an obvious, stare at your phone, swipe-through-pictures-on-Instagram-kinda thing? Or is more subtle, where your lover is doing something nasty, and you reach over and glance to see if you got any Facebook notifications?

While these questions will probably not be clarified (and that's probably for the best), I guess I'm not that surprised by the information because people are so addicted to their devices.

I was recently in an aerobics class that was only 50 minutes. A girl who stood in the front was so addicted to her phone that she checked it at least 5 times. She was off on the moves and had to blatantly look at the phone while everyone else was squatting or jazzercising away their turkey arms, but this girl had no shame.

Seeing her phone addiction was off-putting, and it was weird to think that she even bothered showing up to exercise when she clearly wasn't exerting much effort in that area.

Well, at least her thumbs got a workout.

In Surecall's study, they also learned that people took their cell phones into the bathroom and checked it as they pooped or peed, and 75% of respondents said they keep their phones next to them while they slept.

Men Lose Interest in Sex Before Women In Long-Term Relationships


Men and women face certain expectations because of their gender. While some stereotypes may work in their favor, others can result in high pressures that result in anxiety and depression. For men, one of the latter expectations is to maintain a high sex drive even as they age, and if their appetite dips, they may experience insecurity. 

A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that men lose interest in sex in long-term relationships before their female partners do, and the reason for this is that they feel pressure to initiative sex, to maintain the amount of sex performed, and to always be down to get down. 

Men also feel frustration as relationships progress because they feel as if their sexual freedom has been stifled by monogamy. 

The research was taken by the University of Kentucky, and they stated that unlike women, men lose interest in sex when they are feeling unhappy. To create their analysis, they examined 64 older studies about sex that were published recently and as far back as the 1950s.

"We expect male desire to always be high and to be simple, like an on and off switch, while we expect women’s desire to be a complicated switchboard, but they are both complex," Kristen Mark, associate professor of health promotion and director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky and lead author of the study, said to The Telegraph.

The researchers found that insecurity within men leads to their loss of sex drive, so for couples experiencing this problem, a solution could be made if the two parties are open to communication. 

What Is Queening and Have You Tried It?

If you're getting bored with regular oral sex or 69, you may be interested in Queening. For those who aren't in a female-led relationship, Queening is a sex act where women essentially sit on a man's face so that he can provide oral pleasure. The position is called Queening because it resembles royalty taking their throne.

In the BDSM world, Queening is quite popular with Dominant women and the submissive men who love them. Women straddle the faces of their lovers who serve them in a worship-like manner, and men love the idea of being slightly suffocated by their Queen's scent and body. The act is both sensual and dominating for the woman and a sign of service for the man.

To further the experience, Queens can wear royal costumes and talk to their lovers like they are servants. In this type of role play, Dommes can refer to themselves as "Her Majesty," "Her Royal Highness," "Queen," "Princess," or just regular oldie but goodie "Mistress." Subs in this scene can be called "servant," "slave," or other variations of theme. 

Urban Dictionary said that Queening is "an ancient art in which a woman presses and rubs her genitalia and/or anus against the tongue, lips, and nose of her subordinate. She classically positions herself in a sitting on or straddling over another's face. The first images of this can be seen in ancient Egyptian drawings, but it is known to have been a historic part of ancient Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Medieval European, Victorian and other cultures."

“It was usually the job of male slaves and servants to submit to their mistresses desires, in Japan there were even brothels where women and girls would pay for male slaves specially trained in the art of queening."

Tuesdays with T.Lo: Why Do Men Love Sending Dick Pics?


The Daily T.Lo Presents: Tuesdays with T.Lo (Season 1, Episode 1)

Author and journalist Teresa Lo (Hustler Magazine, The Sugar Baby Club) discusses why men loving sending women dick pics.... and not just dick pics but UNSOLICITED dick pics.

Citing an article from Harvard scholar Dr. Justin Lehmiller, T.Lo explores three scientific reasons why men send dick pics, and how women should react to receive these unwanted eggplant presents.

Do A Lot Of Guys Cry After Sex?

Consensual sex fills our bodies with hormones that make us feel something akin to euphoria, but sometimes, that high can lead to a devastating crash. In the BDSM world, they practice Aftercare, which refers to acts that make sure their lovers are okay after sex. The reason for this is because sex can actually make people depressed and sad.

We've probably all heard stories of women who have cried after bad sex, but men are just as likely to feel bad as their female counterparts. Researchers from the Queensland University of Technology said that it is normal for men to cry after sex and these tears can stem from anxiety, depression, irritability or more. 

In our patriarchal society, men are often told to "man up" and suppress their feelings, so their mental health after sex was previously not prioritized in the scientific community, according to one of the researchers.

"My guess is that we have such a cultural view of what sex is for men that the very idea of men having experiences which are aversive are just not even considered," professor Robert Schweitzer, a psychology researcher from QUT, told Buzzfeed News.

The researchers studied Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD), a condition that men and women feel after consensual sex. Those who suffer from PCD feel negatively after intercourse, and these feelings can involve longing, remorse, depression, and shame. The reasons can range from anything from regretting having sex to being mistreated by their partner. 

QUT researchers surveyed 1,200 men and found that 41% of them have experienced PCD at least once in their lifetime. Only 3-4% said they experience PCD on a regular basis. 

This study is important because it is a reminder that men are just as emotional about sex as women, and they need TLC in the form of cuddling, kind words, and other affection just as much as their partners. 

Study Shows Kids in Same-Sex Marriages Are Doing Just Fine


I am sure you know a straight couple who are terrible parents. You bet your ass, I do! But those straight couples can easily have and keep their children, while LGBTQ couples have a harder time adopting or living their best lives as parents because angry conservatives believe same-sex parents are not as fit as heterosexual parents.

Well, after 25 years, we now have empirical proof that same-sex parents are no different than straight parents. The National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study followed a group of lesbian couples who started families in the late 1980s and 1990s, and they interviewed their kids as adults. Many of the lesbians' children are now 25 years old, and they told the study that they are doing just fine, thank you.

The researchers found no significant differences between the children interviewed and their peers.

ThinkProgress pointed out that the study was not racially or economically diverse and that it did not include male same-sex parented households, but the study's conclusions were similar to others made on the topic.

Women Prefer Men Who Exhibit Benevolent Sexism


I am staunchly in favor of traditional courtship, but in modern times, the idea of it seems to confuse or anger people. For instance, I spoke with a recent single, female, college graduate who was smart, had a good job, and was very pretty. I asked her about her dating life, and she described how bad it was. Guys she met online would ask her for a date that night, and she'd meet up at a casual dive bar and sometimes the guys would pay. Sometimes they wouldn't. But each date, she found okay, but not necessarily romantic.

Things seemed to be looking up when she met a guy in his 30s who was handsome, had a good job, and shared numerous interests. I figured since this guy was older, he would know how to take her on a nice date and make her feel special, but to my dismay, she told me that she allowed him to just come over and they'd hook up. Sometimes he spent the night. Sometimes he didn't. She was overjoyed when he once bought her McDonalds. I pretty much died inside when she told me he started to tell her about his other friends-with-benefits, but she didn't tell him this bothered her because she wanted him to think she was a cool girl.

This girl's acceptance of bad behavior fascinated me even more because she grew up in a functional two-parent household, where she spent her life viewing a loving relationship. I asked this girl why she didn't make guys take her on real dates or why she didn't set any ground rules for what she wanted, and she said that she was a feminist and didn't expect guys to pay, take the lead, or have any restrictions. I asked her if she believed that guys biologically enjoyed the chase, and she said yes. So I asked her why she didn't make guys chase after her, and she got mad at me.

I don't blame her for getting upset. The rules of dating seem complicated because society appears to have progressed so much. However, I firmly believe that when it comes to relationships you have to be honest about what you like. And for many straight women, they enjoy masculine men who treat them like stereotypical women, even if that undermines their feminist beliefs.

Pelin Gul from Iowa State University and Tom Kupfer from the University of Kent published a study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that found women were most attracted to men who exhibited benevolent sexism over men who believed in equality between the sexes. The study found that both feminists and non-feminists preferred benevolent sexist men. 

When most people hear the word "sexism," they immediately think of toxic macho guys who hate women and treat women badly based on gender stereotypes. That type of behavior is known as hostile sexism, and people who are hostile sexists should be avoided because they are super, duper scary. 

Benevolent sexism, on the other hand, puts men and women into gender-role boxes that affect their behaviors. For instance, in benevolent sexism, women are thought of as nurturing and in need of protection, and men believe they must take care of the females around them for this reason. 

Gul and Kupfer said that females looking to partner up were more attracted to benevolent sexist men because they believed these men were more likely to invest in the relationship and were more willing to provide, protect, and commit. The researchers acknowledged that benevolent sexism could undermine women, but that women were okay with this because the other benefits outweighed the bad. 

In the study, benevolent sexist men were more likely to do things such as give their coats to the woman if it was cold or help a woman first in an emergency situation. Egalitarian men believed women shouldn't be put on a pedestal and should've got their own damn coats in the cold weather. 

“Women are attracted to men with benevolent sexist attitudes and behaviors because benevolent sexism signals that a potential mate is willing to invest (i.e., protect, provide, and commit), which is an important mate preference for women,” Gul told PsyPost. "“Because of this, even though benevolence can be undermining to women at times, they generally still prefer men who show they are benevolent. This may apply to any women, regardless of their level of feminism and gender egalitarian views."

This study has some critics upset that women would choose a benevolent sexist man over one that believes in equality, but their disapproval only strengthens the need for more people to come forward and let others know it is okay to like traditional gender roles in relationships. It is also okay to not like them. What is most important is evaluating yourself and what you need to feel loved and going out and seeking that. 

For feminists, the idea of liking a quote-unquote man's man may seem to go against the idea that women should be equal to men, but perhaps feminism should also be re-evaluated. Men and women are not biologically the same, but they should be given equal opportunities in the public sphere and the right to choose how they live their personal lives. Then they can decide on their own what to pursue or not based on their individual goals and personalities.