50 Percent of People Would Choose a Bigger Closet Over Sex

I have a huge girl crush on Carrie Bradshaw. Even though she's a fictional character, I love her lifestyle and of course, her cool clothes. In my real life, I have a tiny closet and a capsule wardrobe, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about a room full of shoes, purses, and colorful duds.

And apparently, there are plenty of other people who love clothes too. So much so that they'd take a bigger closet over sex. StyleCaster reported that a new study from MakeSpace said that 50% of the people polled said they would give up sex for six months in order to get more space. Weirdly, a lot of people were willing to give up sex, but only 20% were willing to give up money.

MakeSpace surveyed over 1,000 men and women nationwide for their results. While the study seemed surprising to me at first, people also chose the internet and food over sex in other polls.

So quite frankly, Americans aren't as horny as we're taught to believe. Maybe sex sells because in real life, all we want is more space and less contact.

Wearing a Breathing Mask to Bed Leads to Better Sex for Sleep Apnea Sufferers

Almost 200,000 adults have sleep apnea, a condition where your airways get blocked during sleep.  And a new study says that those who wear a breathing mask at night report having better sex lives, a new study shows. 

Sleep apnea has been linked to sexual dysfunction for men and women, but a study from Dr. Sebastian Jara of the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle said that people with the disorder who use a machine that provides continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) report better sex lives than people who don't go with any treatment.

According to the Deccan Chronicle, sleep apnea can cause erectile dysfunction in men and vaginal dryness and painful intercourse for women. The small study found that the mask helped women the most with their sex lives, and while men's sex lives weren't changed by the device, men's health improved overall.

“At this point, it’s not clear why we saw such a large improvement in sexual quality of life in women but no improvement in men, especially given that other studies have shown improvement in men,” Dr. Jara told the Deccan Chronicle. “Despite this finding, CPAP has been shown to have numerous other health benefits in men and should still be encouraged."

Medical experts believe apnea is primarily caused by obseity and can sometimes be cleared up with weight loss. Without treatment, people with sleep apnea can experience tiredness, heart problems, and a decreased quality of life. 

Do more people do it on airplanes or in airports?

Whenever Americans have to embark on flying the unfriendly skies, what do they think about? 

Do they imagine getting their asses kicked like Dr. David Dao and then cashing out some massive legal settlement? 

Or maybe they think about that guy who got stung by a scorpion on his United Airlines flight. 

Or maybe they think about the wig-snatching airport brawl at the Spirit Airlines terminal in Florida. 

Or maybe they don’t think about any of the terrible crap that has happened in the news, and instead, they think about where they can find a place to have some raunchy sex before their redeye flight from New York to Chicago...

At least that's one theory according to a report from Jetcost. 

Jetcost said that one in 10 passengers claim to have landed their Boeing onto their lover’s airstrip while at the airport. This is surprising because most of us imagine joining the mile-high club, but in reality, more people do it at the airport. 

Jetcost surveyed 5,000 adult flyers, and based on their answers, the website found that ten percent of travelers have had sex in an airport while only 8 percent have done it on the flight. The logic here is that it is near impossible to bone on the airplane unless you’re flying private (and in that case of course you’re doing whatever the hell you want), but the percentages still seem kinda high. But this bias could be due to the fact that I’m lame and whenever I travel, I just eat a Cinnabon and then sit in my terminal, glued to checking Instagram my phone. How could I have missed all the sex around me?!

It’s either because the Jetcost surveyees are liars OR everyone is just doing a really good job of freaking on the low. According to Jetcost, 42% of people were playing hide the airplane in the restrooms, 28% were screwing in storage cupboards, and amazingly 14% were having sex “under a coat” like they were on ecstasy at Coachella. Weirdly, the private airline lounges came in fourth place on the list—maybe signaling that wealthy frequent fliers have more class than those fun freakers at an airport.

Amongst the thirsty travelers, 87% played captain-stewardess with their friend, but interestingly enough, 5% said that they hooked up with a stranger. Which begs the question. How? Did they meet at the airport bar and then got busy in the women’s restroom? What kind of pick up line did they use? How drunk do people actually get at an airport bar? Or did these strangers hook up sober? 

This could be a study in itself, so hopefully, Jetcost will fly away with this idea...

Does Sex Affect Sports Performance?

Since ancient times, male athletes have believed that porking a lady before a game would nuke their performance. However, a study published in Frontiers of Physiology debunked that idea, allowing the sexy superheroes we call athletes to spread their super sperm everywhere, anytime!

Researchers from the study said there “is no robust scientific evidence to indicate that sexual activity has a negative effect upon athletic results.” In other words, it’s okay to play hide the baton before a big game.

The researchers stated that the origin of no-sex-before-sports probably came from the ancient Roman and Greek societies who believed that winning was the result of great sacrifice. And we all know agreeing to not do the devil’s dance is a great sacrifice indeed! Modern day coaches also supported the sacrifice theory, mistakenly believing that sexual frustration leads to more aggression, which leads to better sporting. Coaches also believed that ejaculating meant losing testosterone, which they thought caused reduced aggression and muscle strength.

That meant athletes not only couldn’t have sex, but they also couldn’t masturbate. No wonder jocks in school tended to be the bullies; they were sexually frustrated for no reason at all.

Besides getting bad coaching advice, athletes in general are highly superstitious creatures. For instance, Serena Williams doesn’t change her socks, Michael Jordan wore his UNC shorts underneath his Bulls uniform, and Wade Boggs notoriously ate chicken before every game. If anyone was to blindly believe something in order to win, then it was going to be that group.

Researcher Laura Stefani told Gizmodo that the sex-affects-performance rumor was substantiated only through anecdotes, i.e. those coaches and their crazy theories. There was never any scientific proof that sex would suddenly slow you down or lose your focus. She said that maybe sex two hours before a game is a bad idea, but other than that, sex could actually help athletes win trophies, medals, and the adoration of us slobs drinking beer and watching from the sidelines.

To come up with this groundbreaking conclusion, Stefani and other researchers pored through hundreds of sports surveys until they determined the nine most reliable studies. They said that most of the sexual activity data focused on men, and that they weren’t sure if the new findings applied for women, who may not have believed the no sex myth in the first place anyway.

More Americans Are Having Gay Sex

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” And for gay people living in a society where their sexuality isn’t always accepted, being true to themselves can be a struggle, which is why its commendable when they live their truths. Luckily, one new study says that more Americans than before are supporting the LGBT community. There were still some lame ass haters in the surveyed bunch, but in general, it seems like things are slowly getting better with time.

The 2016 massacre at a gay Orlando nightclub was a sad reminder to Americans that we have a ways to go to fight homophobia. The already horrendous hate crime got even more depressing when details of the shooter’s secret gay life started to surface—The shooter Omar Mateen, a married man with a kid, apparently had been to the nightclub numerous times and he had a profile on a gay dating app. Here was a guy who hated himself so much that he went out and shot up his own people instead of coming out of the closet. He was a man who couldn’t accept himself, even though the amount of men who had reported having same-sex sex has doubled from what was reported in the 1990s.

In a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers found the amount of same-sex encounters and acceptance of gays has risen over the past 25 years. After polling 30,000 adults about their sexual behaviors (not orientation), researchers found that same-sex encounters with men has almost doubled, from 4.5 percent to 8.2 percent. Lesbian sex almost tripled, from 3.6 percent to 8.7 percent. And these findings are all just based on what people reported. It could actually be more in real life.

Professors Jean Twenge, Ryne Sherman, and Brooke Wells added that acceptance of homosexuality has increased from 49 percent to 63 percent from 1990 to 2014. Twenge said that in the past 25 years there has been a huge “cultural change” and that “without the strict social rules common in the past, Americans now feel more free to have sexual experiences they desire.” Overall, it seemed like the researchers were optimistic with the growing numbers, despite continued hate crimes, dumb bathroom laws, the GOP, the Westboro Church, and Donald Trump supporters. Those anti-gay idiots may have their hearts filled with intolerance and hate, but new generations are proving that we are slowly moving towards an open sexual society. That period of time may take decades, but there is something special about knowing that people are moving forward and not backwards when it comes to acceptance and love.

"[The study] suggests that our sexuality has become much more free and open, that Americans feel much more freedom to express themselves sexually in a way that they see fit," Twenge said. "That's why it comes down to this individualistic viewpoint: do what's right for you."

Virgins more likely to not get divorced, but good luck finding one

For a long ass time, religious men have been telling women to remain virgins until marriage, and a lot of women have responded by gleefully getting laid before the big day. Now trying to find a virgin to wed is more elusive than finding rare Pokemon, but apparently those virgins are worth catching. At least that's according to a study helmed by people whose goal is to keep traditional families alive. 

A study from The Institute for Family Studies said that women who were virgins when they married are less likely to divorce. It stated that virgin brides were least likely to divorce after five years than women who had played hide the salami with two or more men before marriage. The study also said that women who had premarital sex, whether with two men or ten, were likely to get the ax no matter what their magic number was. The study was conducted by Professor Nicholas H. Wolfinger from the University of Utah, and he analyzed three sets of data from the CDC’s National Survey of Family Growth.

The Christian Post asked why there was no difference between women who had premarital sex with two men versus ten, and Wolfinger said he couldn’t give a scientific explanation. But he believed having sex with multiple people gave women experience that there were sexual alternatives out there. Apparently that knowledge was equivalent to Eve biting the apple.

This study brought a slew of right-wingers to urge women to save themselves before marriage, but The Daily Beast pointed out how stupid that was. After all, only 5% of women keep their flower intact before marriage, so that leaves a hell of a lot more women who can’t do anything with the study’s results, even if they wanted to.

The study said that society’s progressive attitudes towards premarital sex were partly to blame for the scarcity of virgins. Wolfinger said to The Christian Post, “Earlier research found that having multiple sex partners prior to marriage could lead to less happy marriages, and often increased the odds of divorce. But sexual attitudes and behaviors continue to change in America, and some of the strongest predictors of divorce in years gone by no longer matter as much as they once did.”

To Wolfinger, Americans have become more accepting of sex outside of marriage, and in this modern hook up culture, men don’t expect women to be virgins anymore. But for those unicorns, women with little to no sexual experience, Wolfinger said they chose to not hook up without a ring because religion plays a huge factor in their lives. 

“These findings make sense in light of the fact that people who attend church frequently have lower divorce rates than do non-participants," Wolfinger said. 

Study Says Women Put In More Work in Relations Than Men, Happier When Single

One of the biggest things that annoyed me growing up was that my parents told me I needed to act a certain way to attract and keep a husband. Even at a young age, I knew that many parents did not teach their sons to strive to get wives, and even those parents who pushed their male children to get married did not usually force them to fit into a narrow box, the way that women are taught to be dutiful wives.

It is widely accepted that men only settle down after they've achieved their dreams but women often give up themselves in order to find a man and start a family. While I've always thought that this was unfair, I also accepted this as a truth in life. Well, it turns out that a study has proven that yes women really do invest more in relationships, and here's the kicker.... the majority of women are happier when single.

Now I enjoy being single, but I also enjoy being in loving relationships. But that's the thing. A loving relationship is awesome, but some people are in relationships just to be in relationships, and according to a study from Mintel, it's the women who put in the majority of the work in these crap bag situations.

Mintel said that 61% of women are happy being single, and that 75% of single women were not actively looking for a relationship last year. The reason? Relationships are a lot of work, and women put in more effort and labor than men.

“There’s evidence that women spend longer on domestic tasks than men and I think they also do more emotional work - so they still do more housework and cooking and things as well as more emotional labor,” Professor Emily Grundy, of the University of Essex, told The Telegraph.

Women also spend a lot of effort and time on upkeep like grooming and shopping to maintain her man's interest, and while some women genuinely enjoy that, it's a fucking drag when the purpose of upkeep is to stop your man from whining or getting a wandering eye.

Grundy explained that women are also happier than men at being single because women maintain friendships where they get emotional support, while men use their female partners as their sounding board.

“Women tend to be better at having alternative social networks and other confidantes whereas men tend to rely quite heavily on their wives for that and have fewer other social ties,” Dr. Grundy said. “Certainly there’s a common finding from a lot of studies that women who don’t have a partner tend to do more social activities and more friends compared to women with partners whereas with men it’s the reverse - men without a partner tend to do much less of that. So it may be that women have a wider range of alternatives.”

So what can we learn from this study? After all, as an advocate for coupling up, I want people to find true love. BUT I want people to enter satisfying relationships, and if women are doing the bulk of the work with no appreciation, then that isn't going to fly and that needs to change. So for all the men out there that want to attract a quality woman, consider an equal partnership or do the BDSM-way and discuss your roles before you enter a relationship. 

Pillowtalk is real

Remember in 2012, when David Patraeus resigned as Director of the CIA? The married four-star general was doing it with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, and after a crazy government investigation, it was discovered that Mr. Central Intelligence was not only feeding his mistress his dick but also top secret info. Which begs the question—how good was the sex that he’d sell out his country? Well, a new study found that any sex can get people to overshare information. So spies and shady people BEWARE!

Recently, a study with a title so clever you’d think it was published in Hustler was released in the journal, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The study’s name—“Sex Unleashes Your Tongue.”

The pillowtalk study said that sex gets people to reveal their secrets, no matter how dark or classified, and that pillowtalk will happen whether or not you know your lover well or even like them.

(Which kinda goes back to my post that you shouldn't engage in casual sex...) 

“Sex Unleashes Your Tongue” was a collection of three sex studies that examined why sexual stimuli versus non-sexual stimuli opened up strangers to have revealing conversations. The studies all involved single, straight male and female college students in their 20s and was performed by the same group of Israeli researchers.

The first study divided 39 men and 39 women into two groups, “sexual priming” and “neutral priming.” The sexual primed people were shown erotic (but sadly not pornographic) pictures, and the neutral primed group were literally shown pictures of fish. Then the undergrads were told to start instant messaging strangers of the opposite sex. The study found that the sexually primed group turned out to be the biggest blabbermouths compared to the fish-watchers.

The second study took 41 women and 41 men and divided them the same way as before. The researchers showed the sexual primed group a steamy part from Original Sin, the super boring period piece starring Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie, which was only redeemed by one really good scene of the two of them boning in a bed. The neutral group was shown what nearly everyone watches on the internet that’s not porn—cat videos. Super fucking amazing cat videos. Then they met with a stranger and were told to reveal a personal embarrassing event. Just like before, the people who saw the erotic images were prone to spill more details.

The third study had students watch either a video of a couple kissing or a video of a couple hanging out in an intimate way without touching. For this study, the researchers wanted to know if there was a difference between sexual priming and intimacy priming, and like before, participants spilled the beans when they watched erotic actions. So note to self, just hanging out with people is not enough to get them to reveal any secrets.

So what’s the big lesson to all of this? David Patreaus and anyone in his position should never, ever, ever have sex or watch Original Sin. For everyone else, prepare to learn more about your lover than you probably care to know.

Couples Who Share Chores Have Better Sex

If anyone were to view relationships through the eyes of an old-school TV comedy, they would think that men are schlubs with hot wives, and those hot wives delightfully nag but do most of the household chores. While this dynamic may have worked for couples in the past, a study said that more progressive pairs report having better sex lives than their traditional counterparts. More specifically--those who share chores have more sex. So start vacuuming, fellas! That’s the secret to gettin’ some.

The Journal of Marriage and Family published a study that said couples that shared chores were having more sex than traditional couples who divvied up their duties by gender. The researchers went a step further and said they were also the only couples who were having more sex than the generations before them. This is important because studies have found that younger generations globally are fucking like pandas instead of rabbits. The cause for Gen Xers and their younger siblings having less sex are still being explored—but a lot of people are blaming Netflix and cell phone use. Apparently, people really do just Netflix and chill, and not Netflix and chill.

Researchers at Cornell University said that in two decades our attitude towards chores and sex have changed.

“By 2006, couples who reported sharing housework fairly equally, with the man doing more than a third and up to 65% of the housework, reported having sex significantly more often than did couples where the woman (or the man) did 65% or more of the housework,” the study's lead author Sharon Sassler told Time.

Gone are the Mad Men days when men could be assholes who just came home and expected food on the table. They’re now expected to cook and clean, and most importantly, the study said, to help with childcare. 

Historian Stephanie Coontz told Time that in the 1950s and 1960s, wives were expected to do chores and put out, and although traditional couples had a lot of sex, Coontz said that the sex wasn’t any good. But that’s all changed thanks to sweeping and changing diapers. 

So good job, helpful men and the ladies who love them. I just want to put it out there, that I too love a man who knows how to do laundry! 

Oohhh - la - la !

Sex Helps Women with Memory Problems

If you're a woman and you've misplaced your keys or forgot the name of your friend's husband, don't fret. A Canadian researcher thinks you can help your bad memory by having lots and lots of sex. 

For realz. 

Researchers at McGill University in Canada studied the effects of penis-vagina intercourse (PVI) on women, which sounds like a pretty cool job even though they nerded sex up by calling it PVI. But anyway, McGill’s team polled 78 heterosexual women under the age of 30 by giving them memory tests involving faces and abstract words. Then the women were given a questionnaire that asked about their sex lives, grade point average, and whether or not they use birth control. 

From there, McGilligans (a term I just made up) concluded that boffing helped women remember abstract words because there was a link between sex and the growth of tissue in the hippocampus, which is an area in your brain that controls memories, emotions, and your nervous system. 

McGill professor Jens Pruessner said that his research was in the beginning stages and that there were no firm conclusions just yet, but he said there was still a link between memory and sex.

“The chemicals involved with signaling reward to the brain—hormones and neurotransmitters—have been shown to be associated with both memory and sexual activity,” Pruessner told Broadly. 
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